Welcome to TurkeyDick Metaplex Services

Meet the Team

Chief Security Officer

Harrison McBubble

Innovator. Founding member of "Smegmadeth".

A young visionary from Texas with a past so sacred he would be sued if he ever spoke about it.

"Now, I proudly work as CSO for Turkeydick Enterprises and will to continue to devote myself to changing lives and filming my sick ass 360 headshot flicks on R6 for bigger people everywhere. That's my promise".

Sincerely,

Chief Executive Officer

Colby Jack

A bright young entrepreneur from Texas who looks to widen the field for bigger people.

Born and raised In Denton he was to become plat 1 on R6 and have 5000 fans on Roller Derby.

After becoming the next Bolo he decided to make a bigger difference in the world.

Chief Information Officer

Adverse

The head of the IT division.

Has $200 Million in UEC

He owns an 890 Jump

Our Services

Weight loss service

We make your fat ass move off the couch with our world-renowned cattle prod

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Hand Jobs

We get down and dirty to make sure your hands look wonderful

More Info

Horse Semen Extraction

We Extract horse semen from most thoroughbred horses in America

More Info

Alexa Young, CA

"They milked my horse so wonderfully he died on the spot"

Don Francis, NY

"The hand job they gave me made my hands feeling like a million bucks"

Lisa Driver, MI

"I used to weight over 1000 lbs and they got my fat ass to move now I weigh 300 lbs"

Our
Story

Get to Know Us

We are a fresh new group of IT Entrepreneurs and consultants who look to expand the opportunities for bigger people who look to develop bigger services.

Welcome to TurkeyDick Metaplex Services

Meet the Team

Our Services

Our Story

Get to Know Us

LET’S CONNECT

Our
Story